natalie is a real leader natalie is now classicnatalie natalie is the best natalie is a single woman natalie is on the september cover of jane magazine natalie is seen here with a portable burner doing some hands on natalie is in fifth natalie is 6 months old natalie is cool natalie is better looking natalie is still really stupid natalie is a pseudonym for heather natalie is a lot of woman natalie is one of my best friends in the world natalie is bi natalie is seen here with a portable burner doing some hands on heating of green copper carbonate which turned to black copper oxide natalie is the queen of procrastination natalie is in fifth place going into the finals natalie is the 2001 nissen natalie is best known as padmé/amidala in the star wars movies natalie is an intensely private person (yeah, right..but people have said that about me) natalie is a one of a kind singer natalie is 17 years old and cancer free natalie is more the type of girl who becomes more beautiful each time you see her natalie is taking some time to herself natalie is born on june 9 natalie is alive natalie is jewish natalie is a straight student natalie is doing more movies now natalie is not shown at all on the teen choice awards natalie is a former pony clubber and former area iv young rider natalie is turning 1 natalie is? no natalie is? now i do natalie is one of my students natalie is not stuck up natalie is the president of natalie manor & associates and events extraordinaire natalie is tall and lithe natalie is one of your mentors natalie is thrilled to live in the grand palace hotel natalie is able to natalie is a tough cookie natalie is a professional fashion model natalie is a co natalie is a full professor natalie is the featured artist at dmusic natalie is the daughter of randy and cyndi bird natalie is an intensely private person and also a straight natalie is hot natalie is to send it to the production company that made her most recent movie natalie is a central character natalie is signing on to play under head coach joan bonvicini natalie is a residential designer of unique natalie is our 14 year old daughter natalie is hot and she's in freakin' star wars natalie is similarly smitten by the handsome young man natalie is in the middle of that cycle right now natalie is a passionate soul natalie is too old for her son natalie is our precious heart child natalie is a magnificent magpie and one of chet's best friends and most able assistants natalie is very unhappy with her website natalie is sexy natalie is a vegetarian natalie is the niece of fiddling master buddy macmaster natalie is going to run the entire world natalie is fluent in hebrew natalie is on the cover of the dec/jan/feb 2001 issue of jump magazine natalie is still upset because last night she and jeremy had plans natalie is a goddess unregistered user natalie is a medical practitioner with fifteen years experience; she has a special interest in natalie is directing and teaching kindermusik and kinderfriends piano classes to little ones natalie is a 15 natalie is captured by an evil spellmage called hawk natalie is a very petite size 8 and is also pierced natalie is upset viki would do this without telling her natalie is named after the lead singer of the dixie chicks natalie is the local gp and she's always been a high natalie is back in the studio writing and recording material for her sophomore album due spring 2003** this expressive urban/r&b/pop singer natalie is anxious to get tracey fulman dealt with by social services natalie is a member of detroit writers guild natalie is also a former shadow of herself natalie is hard driven to continue her career at a faster pace natalie is five
For my Ex:
phil brady is one of a small band of computer managers who have made the transition to managing integrated information services phil brady is the former commodore at the st phil brady is the ranking staff member in charge of day phil brady is boerne's top skill performer
For Christina:
christina kim is off to the lpga tour; stephanie george has lot of work ahead christina kim is pink christina kim is cashing in on a recent missed payment christina kim is another joining ua’s department of surgery this year christina kim is a dual degree student at the fletcher school and the school of medicine and after graduating from tufts in 1998 christina kim is an intern in our global affairs office christina kim is in second with $50
*I bolded all the ones that I either know are true or things that I have been told me.
swirly said what she needed to say 11:26 AM
Dancing
I just caught myself dancing around the room like a complete and total fool. Oh yeah, dancing around like a fool can only mean one thing: I'm gettin' laid.
swirly said what she needed to say 11:23 AM
Halloween and Fun Stuff
Ok, so what's on my plate for thise evenings festivities? I got a invite to partake in "spooky drinks". I also got another invite to join friends at the RHPS. I think I may do both. Yeah, I'm cool like that.
swirly said what she needed to say 10:24 AM
So, I was thinking. He-Man and Skeletor were locked in an epic battle for Castle Grayskull, right? I never understood this. Didn't He-Man notice that Castle Grayskull kind of resembled Skeletor, and by kind of resembled, I mean they were obviously long-lost twins. Why didn't He-Man just back off and find a castle that had a gay little Dutch boy haircut and leave Skeletor the evil digs? That would kind of be like if, instead of living on the Death Star, Darth Vader lived on a ship that looked like his helmet, and Luke Skywalker was like, hey, that's my house.
swirly said what she needed to say 12:55 AM
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
It's all crap
Ok, not really. I had two tests today and felt that I improved in both areas as far as the tests were concerned. I only have to have a B average in my ASL classes to continue on in the program.
swirly said what she needed to say 10:50 PM
More about my ex
True to my word, I'll be calling him on the 1st of November. This will at least stop Dee from referring to me as "Jr. High".
swirly said what she needed to say 12:14 AM
Spelling
I just noticed that when I'm complaining, I spell like crap. Maybe this is my own subconsciousness working against me.
swirly said what she needed to say 12:12 AM
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
Some people suck
There are some people that are really irritating. What's weird about these said people is that at ome time you bonded with them and once considered them your friend.
One person in particular, is really being clingy. And I am not at all comfortable with that. I'm used to having people being independent and just double checking their answers with me; I'm not used to being a helper, not a teacher. Okay, I have to stop; Clingy is here.
swirly said what she needed to say 12:11 PM
Still tired
Well I went camping/scrapbooking this past weekend. We went to Camp Carter, slept on bunk beds, and even had s'mores. You'll be happy to know that I didn't get drunk and call Phil, even thought Dee really wanted me to. ;)
On Saturday night I was filled with so much Chocolatey Goodness (from all the s'mores) that I felt like I was gonna puke. I also think it didn't help that I was drinking some lemonade-malt-flavored beverage.
swirly said what she needed to say 12:06 PM
Phases of the breakup
Man, I think that Christina is still in the anger part of the post-break-up. I totally understand though. It sucks that time is all that ever fixes things like that, and it's only the we feel have too much time.
swirly said what she needed to say 12:02 PM
Friday, October 25, 2002
Still...it's doesn't hurt to win the lotto
There aren't a lot of things that I know when it comes to life, or should I say "adult life". Most of it I've been learning by watching other people; the other place I learn things is from my mistakes. There are more mistakes in my life than there are perfect moments. This is something that I need to work at reversing.
Anywho, the "things" I wanted to say were...
Family is forever, no matter how much you hate them in your life.
No matter how much you want to be able to count on someone 100%, you can only do that with yourself..and sometimes not even then.
Sometimes you just have to dance, even if you are the only one doing it.
Be open to honesty, criticism, and friendship in equal doses.
1. What is your favorite scary movie? I don't really have one; this is because I HATE scary movies. I have a way too active imagination when I sleep to be into scary movies.
2. What is your favorite Halloween treat? Sex. But if that's not on the "treat" menu, I'd have to say that I used to like getting pixie sticks.
3. Do you dress up for Halloween? If so, describe your best Halloween costume. I LOVE to dress up for Halloween, but haven't done so in a few years. The best costume I have ever had when I was a kid was when I went as Princess Leia and my mom made my sister go as yoda--oh yeah, mom was cool back then. The coolest costume I ever had as an adult was when I went as a burn victim, it was pretty intense.
4. Do you enjoy going to haunted houses or other spooky events? Not too much into the scary. I can do Spooky though.
5. Will you dress up for Halloween this year? Brian's trying to get me to go as Princess Leia again this year. Total guy's fantasy I think. I've never been the bride of Frankenstien, might be one I have to try.
swirly said what she needed to say 12:34 AM
Yesterday's freak out was sponsored by the Coffee Farmers everywhere. On Monday night I met Brian for Coffee at 2 A.M. because he's in a bit of a downer because of his lack of sex lately. Which is fine for someone who's been ingesting coffee on a regular basis--not so good for someone who has been weening themselves off of all caffinated drinks. So there was my mind racing with doubt, fear, over analysis, plans, chemical equations, crossword answers, 3-d puzzles, video games, books, story ideas, and porn--because there's always porn running about in my mind. So when your mind is running faster than you can make sense of, it's understandable when you pull out the pity card.
But, alas, I laugh in the general direction of pity. Ok, now what everyone who knows me has been wondering about: MIDTERM GRADES!!!
Deaf Culture: 146/150 Fingerspelling: 121/150 ASL III: 87/100 of the receptive part; ???/100 on the expressive part.
All in all not a bad showing when it comes to midterms.
swirly said what she needed to say 1:20 PM
Real Men...
On the way home from school today I was stuck behind an asshole. On the rear window were these words: "Real Men don't drive Chevy's"
My thought is that real men don't need to overcompensate for penis envy or Napoleon syndrome, which by the way are two different things, by purchasing a 4 ton truck and then proceed to drive 55 miles an hour in the fast lane to show off how hot you are. Assholes.
swirly said what she needed to say 1:12 PM
Tuesday, October 22, 2002
Boyfriends, current or otherwise
I totally understand Christina's gripe about ex's reading your blog. But part of me secretly wishes Phil would be reading mine, but just a little part.
Maybe I should let her blog here then then Pete would be confounded for a little bit.
swirly said what she needed to say 11:24 AM
Teetering
Yesterday was bizzare for me emotionally. Everything in my life, but one area is going really well. I'm happy, school and classes are going really well. I have a group of great friends. I even have a longterm plan for my career wants/needs. So what's missing? Man--or just a man. I don't know what it was about last night. Suddenly I realized no matter how much I miss Phil, or I think he's the one...well, I totally missed my chance. And I think this is actaully regret and self-pity all rolled into one that I feel. It's hard to cope with the fact that's it's your own fault that you've lost something that could have had the potential to have turned into the greatest thing ever.
This is where I think that being adult is too hard.
Last night was also strange because I don't know how exactly I arrived at this great realization. It was almost like my brain was thinking so fast and wouldn't slow down. Like being overstimulated. Paul tried to get me to talk about this with his, but it's all stuff that he's heard before. And who wants to rehash the un-hashable? Yeah, me neither.
Here's my worry: I don't want this feeling of aniexty, sorrow, self-pity, and regret to weigh me down in other parts of my life. I used to compartmentalize my life. Like, my friends and their problems had a block in my brain, life, and heart; there were other boxes for love, work, school, family--you know, the normal stuff. But I would never drag or mix things between the boxes--never draw the connections. It also screwed me in the feelings/compassion department. God, I'm a freak.
Anyway, I'm being annoyed right now by a rather old computer illiterate. Hello, can't she see I'm working?
swirly said what she needed to say 11:05 AM
You are not the one
How many times can someone be told this and it not hurt? Methinks never.
swirly said what she needed to say 10:51 AM
Titles
I was thinking yesterday night about titles that I've always wanted to use on my daily entries but probably never have the chance to so here's the long and short of it:
Twice as strong, half as smart
All this is yours for the low low price of...
Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.
Kinda slippery, mostly sticky
Hey look at me! I'm clever!
There is one more, but for the time being it totally escapes me.
swirly said what she needed to say 10:46 AM
Monday, October 21, 2002
Another big decision
I've decided to go to grad school when I'm done with my interpreting degree. Nothing big, I'm just going to get a Masters in Liberal Arts. The only thing is...I'm not sure how I feel getting a degree where I can actually take classes like this:
61043 JERKS, NITWITS, AND LOSERS: THE ANTI-HERO IN THE WESTERN TRADITION This class explores changing ideas that make someone a jerk, nitwit, or loser from antiquity to the 20th century. How and why have these ideas changed? What cultural values-about individuality, about equality, about sympathy-do these ideas reveal? What are the social and political functions of labeling someone a jerk, nitwit, or loser? Under what conditions are these anti-heroes admirable, even heroic? Readings will possibly include: Homer’s The Iliad (selections), Plautus’s Miles Gloriosus, Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales (selections), Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, Austin’s Pride and Prejudice, Melville’s Bartleby the Scriviner, Wodehouse’s The Mating Game, and Toole’s A Confederacy of Dunces.
or how about this:
61053 PARAPSYCHOLOGY: WEIGHING THE EVIDENCE The field of parapsychology includes phenomenon such as telepathy, clairvoyance, psychokinesis, ghosts and hauntings, spirit communication, and near-death experiences. The claim by many parapsychologists is that these paranormal occurrences have been studied with rigorous research methods, and that there is considerable evidence to support their existence. This course will weigh the evidence for parapsychology by tracing the history of psychical research from the dawn of spiritualism to the present day use of the ganzfeld technique. We will discuss the careers of famous psychics as well as the contributions of many noted parapsychologists. The methods and results from parapsychological studies will be evaluated in the context of the approaches used by researchers in the natural sciences. This course will address the following important issues: are testimonials useful evidence to support the existence of these phenomena; do fraudulent claims preclude acceptance of the field; can parapsychological research findings be replicated; do probability and chance help explain paranormal events; how have magicians and skeptics affected the perception of parapsychology in the scientific community and the general public. The objective of this course is to present perspectives from both "believers" and "skeptics" such that in the end each student can make up his/her own mind as to the strength of the evidence.
and then there's:
61093 PROFILES OF COURAGE: CINEMATIC STUDIES OF GREATNESS This MLA course capitalizes on great films to investigate the lives of people who achieve greatness. Films such as Amadeus, Braveheart, Glory, Lawrence of Arabia, Patton, and Schindler’s List are used as laboratories for studying the principles of greatness as played out in the lives of heroes, creators, commanders, and statesmen. Although the domains of greatness vary, from music to politics to the battlefield, many of the essential ingredients are the same. Chief among these is courage, which Ernest Hemingway defined as "grace under pressure." (Note: Students enrolled in this eCollege course must have access to a video source, either a library or a video outlet such as Blockbuster.)
Yeah, and I've got to have 30 hours of stuff like this...I feel guilty telling my parents I want to go to grad school and then show them classes like this.
swirly said what she needed to say 7:20 PM
Hahahahah
I just finished watching The Sweetest Thing. Oh my! I was laughing through that whole damn movie.
swirly said what she needed to say 7:00 PM
Thursday, October 17, 2002
Happy Birthday
To my best friend of, shit what it is, 10 years now? Anyway, you're the best Paul.
swirly said what she needed to say 1:37 AM
Devil's Haircut
There are some songs that take you right back to parts in your life. It doesn't even matter that you'd long forgotten about all of it, or whatever. Music, for me at least, has this uncanny ability to tear me out of the present and drop me right back into the past.
Beck is cool like that.
swirly said what she needed to say 1:35 AM
Tuesday, October 15, 2002
Odd
It's like 59-60 degree here. That's really odd for Texas weather. We usually don't get cold weather until Thanksgiving.
swirly said what she needed to say 11:30 AM
Happy and Rambling
You know, the 1st time in a long time I can honestly say that I'm happy with almost everything that's happening in my life. I mean, I have no money and I'm expected to shell out for some party-like stuff in a few days. I still need a job, but I'm not sure what I'm going to be able to do since school is taking up like 75% of my life with studying, classes, and interacting with the Deaf community. If you have any ideas lemme know.
In other news, Christina's site is back up and running (FINALLY!). The stuff that goes on in her life is so similar to mine that it makes me laugh and smile, in the right parts; and makes me sad and stuff when I'm supposed to. It doesn't hurt that she's cool to boot.
I've been thinking about Phil everyday since I spoke to him on my birthday and I've resisted the urge to call him, which I will continue to do until the early part of November. Another person I've been thinking about lately is Michelle. We've been playing phone tag for about 3 weeks no with no end in sight.
In my ASL III class, we got our tests back last week. I made an 11 point improvemet on both my expressive and receptive tests. This was a huge confidence booster for me. Midterms, which I cannot belive that the semester is 1/2 way over, are this week. I've 3 tests and I'm looking forward to kicking proverbial ass on all of them. I guess I shouldn't tell anyone this, but I don't really study too much the night before a test. It just seems to make me all nervous. I've heard from other friends that they have like all-nighters the night before a test. It's embarassing to say that I usually watch tv until about 9:00, take a shower, get into bed and read for about an hour before I go to sleep. Oh yeah, I'm just one big party.
Right now, I'm in the ASL lab typing this and there's this cute guy over my right shoulder working on a test. He actually came over and wanted me to help him out. Hello, it's a test bucko. You should have thought about studying before today.
Anyway, I'm happy and just wanted to tell everyone.
swirly said what she needed to say 11:29 AM
My mom just told me that my sister, Nicole, has signed up for the next round of The Bachelor. What a freak.
swirly said what she needed to say 2:20 PM
Sunday, October 06, 2002
Diagnosis Birthday
The long and short of it is that being older really isn't too bad. My actual birthday was ok. I had lunch with some friends. Later that night, my ex-boyfriend called. After a 5 minute freak session, and a quick call for moral support to Dee, I called him back. It was a really good conversation--sprinkled with weird comments. It just made me realize that I miss him. But what was weird was that he didn't once mention the letter I recently wrote him.
AND p.s. Paul called me and left a voice mail on my cell phone.
swirly said what she needed to say 11:54 PM
1. What size shoe do you wear? Ok...this is kinda odd but in the summer I wear a size 10 in the winter I wear a size 9.
2. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I have about 20 pairs, but I only wear about 4 pairs regularly.
3. What type of shoe do you prefer (boots, sneakers, pumps, etc.)? I LOVE sandles. Since I live in Texas I can wear them right up until Christmas. It's really cool.
4. Describe your favorite pair of shoes. Why are they your favorite? I have a pair of sandles that have a flower cut out on the top. They are kinda cool, but they are also super comfortable.
5. What's the most you've spent on one pair of shoes? I can't remember.
From Sept. 27:
1. What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind? read, listen to muisc, tv, computer stuff, video games.
2. What do you do the moment you get home from work/school/errands? Take off all my clothes and shower.
3. What are your favorite aromatherapeutic smells? I don't really have any. My friend Michelle once gave me this green tea candle that I thought smelled ok.
4. Do you feel more relaxed with a group of friends or hanging out by yourself? Hell no. I am way more relaxed by myself.
5. What is something that you feel is relaxing but most people don't? For some reason, I find hand washing dishes really relaxing. I usually do this when I am having some sort of inner turmoil that I can't figure out how to fix. I think I find it relaving because it is such a mindless activity.
swirly said what she needed to say 10:35 AM
Wednesday, October 02, 2002
Calm before the storm
If you haven't actually physcially seen me in a few weeks, it's becuase I'm going into my Fall Nesting mode. I basically break away from everyone I know, gather up all of my strength and get ready for the holiday craziness. The other reason I've been on my own a lot lately is that I just found out that my one of my dog's has cancer. He's doing well now, but I'm trying to make the last of his time here really fun. We've been going to the park a lot. I'm just really connected with this dog, because I remember when I found him as a puppy on our front porch in the middle of Feb. I had just started college and had come home from classes to find him huddled in the corner of our porch. He's the perfect Scottie dog. Now I have sit here and watch as he dies. He has cancer in his lungs, liver, and stomach. But he's still eating and active. When one of those things changes then we'll have to put him to sleep.
I've decided that I'm not going to be doing anything on my birthday, which is this Friday. I just don't feel like it. Family lunch is on Saturday. I need to tell Dee she's invited. Dee, you're invited on Saturday. On the Border at 11:30 in Arlington. Come, don't come, it's all good to me.
I haven't eaten today, I kinda need to do that.
swirly said what she needed to say 12:41 PM
